The More Insane hack Characters
by Aiya1
Summary: My .hack characters...Muahahaha. Chapter three is now up! Triple MUAHAHAHA!!!
1. Puchigusos and an Evil Ten Year Old

I decided to make an insane story. Not a humorous as others I've seen, but I-DON'T-CARE! Please do not criticize unless you have tips for me. Thanks.  
  
We start with my characters, Lyo, Tomi, Yukami, Aiya, and Oriya in Bursting Passed over Aqua field.  
  
Yukami- I'm bored. . .Let's sing! ^_____________^ I love you. . .you love me. . .  
  
All- Not a chance, Yukami.  
  
Yukami- :( -thwacks everyone over the head-  
  
Lyo- That didn't hu-urt : P  
  
Yukami- -attempts strangling Lyo-  
  
Lyo- Need. . .oxygen. . .Ten year old. . .cutting off years of life. . .  
  
Yukami- MWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Aiya- -sweatdrop-  
  
Tomi- GO YUKAMI!  
  
Oriya- Fighting is not nice. AND I HAVE POINTY EARS!  
  
Aiya and Tomi- -distracted from fight by Oriya's ears- Ooh. . .that's spiffy.  
  
Tomi- I've got cat ears and a tail!  
  
Aiya and Oriya- Coooll. . .  
  
Lyo- -falls to the ground-  
  
Yukami- -whistles and a herd of Puchigusos coming running toward Lyo- -hops off-  
  
Lyo- AUGH! A TEN YEAR OLD GIRL'S ABOUT TO KILL MEEEEE!  
  
Yukami- -evil expression- I'll let you go on one condition. . .  
  
5 minutes later.  
  
Lyo- -bows to Yukami and is also on a leash- Yukami-chan is so much greater than I, for I am a sore loser who doesn't know anything. . .  
  
Yukami- ^ _______________________________________________^  
  
Aiya and Oriya- -still admiring Tomi's cat-like features- SPIFFY!  
  
Tomi- ^ ^  
  
Yukami- -drags Lyo off-  
  
Lyo- AIYA! HELP MEEEEE!  
  
Aiya- In a minute, Lyo! Tomi's coolio features have me in wonder at the moment.  
  
Lyo- Oro? o0  
  
Oriya- -spots Lyo and Yukami- Ooh. Look. Yukami got a new dog!  
  
Aiya and Tomi- -turn- COOLIO!  
  
Me- COOLIO AND SPIFFY ARE MY WORDS! -is ignored-  
  
Aiya- Eh? Lyo?!  
  
Lyo- -sniff- Save. . .meee. . .from this horrible child from below.  
  
Yukami- -kicks Lyo-  
  
Aiya- Uh, Yukami? Mind letting Lyo go?  
  
Yukami- Okay ^ ^  
  
Lyo- Now, why didn't I think of that?  
  
Aiya- Because you're a baka?  
  
Lyo- -.-;  
  
Tomi- -laughs uncontrollably-  
  
Oriya- o0  
  
End of first chapter 


	2. Ice Cream and Another Evil Ten Year Old

Weeeee! Another chapter! This time with a few original characters! ^ ^ Have fun.  
  
Lyo- Shut up, Tomi!  
  
Tomi- -shuts up-  
  
-Corny music plays-  
  
Yukami- It's the ice cream man!!!  
  
Oriya- -sweatdrop-  
  
Tomi- YAYNESS!  
  
Aiya and Lyo- -run off with their money-  
  
Yukami- -chases the ice cream truck-  
  
Tsukasa- -driving the ice cream truck when all of the sudden, Yukami jumps and clings onto the front of the truck- WTF?! Hey, you! Little girl! Get off!  
  
Yukami- -sticks tongue out-  
  
Tsukasa- -is mad now- -climbs onto the front of the truck and attempts throwing Yukami off-  
  
Yukami- IDIOT! NOW WHO'S DRIVING?!  
  
Tsukasa- -gulp-  
  
Sora- -popping noise and he appears out of absolutely nowhere- Don't you worry, Tsukasa! I'm a GREAT driver!  
  
Tsukasa- NO! NOT YOU!  
  
Sora- -begins driving-  
  
Tsukasa- You're too young to drive!  
  
Yukami- And I'm too young to die!  
  
Sora- -makes a bad turn and they all go flying- -A portal opens out of nowhere and they are sucked in-  
  
All- AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!  
  
Tomi- -drooling- 'Bout time you guys got here.Who are those guys?  
  
Yukami- That's the ice cream man and how'd you get here?!  
  
Tomi- -shrug-  
  
Tsukasa- My name is TSUKASA!!!  
  
Sora- Boing dee boing!  
  
Oriya- Hello, Boing dee Boing, I'm Oriya! ^ ^  
  
Sora- No! I'm Sora! SORA!  
  
Oriya- You know someone named Sora? Wow. What a stupid name.  
  
Sora- | Because I have been insulted, I shall take hostages until I get an apology! -grabs Yukami who is eating ice cream- Say sorry, little girl!  
  
Yukami- Little!? I'm YOUR age!!! -blinks in wonder of how she knew that-  
  
Lyo- Why Yukami if she wasn't the one who insulted you?  
  
Sora- SILENCE, FOOL!  
  
Oriya- Moo. ^___________________________________^  
  
Balmung- -appears- Do not fret, non-important people! I will save Yukami- chan! -blinks in wonder just like Yukami of how he knew her name-  
  
Yukami- CHAN?! -screams, but is ignored-  
  
Lyo- Why save her if we aren't impotant?  
  
Balmung- Don't get fresh with me, young man.-narrows eyes-  
  
Aiya- But Lyo's-  
  
Bulmung- SILENCE!  
  
Aiya- Meep!  
  
Tsukasa- That felt good.  
  
All- -edge away from Tsukasa-  
  
Yukami- -yawn- Go fish. Got any two's?  
  
Sora- Go fish.  
  
Balmung- Eh?  
  
Tomi- -thwacks Balmung over the head- You're supposed to save Yukami before she plays card games with the enemy, you dim wit!  
  
Balmung- -gasps- You dare call THE Balmung of the Azure Sky a dim wit?!.AND thwack him over the head?!  
  
Tomi- Yes, I most certainly do ^ ^  
  
Oriya- -pokes Yukami- Oh, no! Yukami's not hyper anymore! She's been warped by Boing dee Boing!  
  
Sora- -sweatdrop-  
  
Lyo- YEEESSSS! I mean that's horrible! What can I do to help?  
  
Aiya- Wait! One test! Yukami! What's the square root of 16?  
  
Yukami- 4.  
  
Lyo- -screams like a girl- She knew the answer!  
  
Tomi- We need sugar! And ppl to attack the green-naired dude!  
  
Tsukasa- -doesn't know why, but attacks Sora-  
  
Tomi-AUGH!  
  
All but Yukami and Tomi- Now what?  
  
Tomi- There's no sugar aound here!  
  
Yukami- E=MC squared.  
  
End of second chapter 


	3. Aromaticy

Weeeeee! Back with a spiffy Chapter Three! N'joy!  
  
Lyo- -dances- NO SUGAR! YAYNESS!  
  
Tomi- -glare-  
  
Lyo- I mean NOOOO!  
  
Tomi- ^ ^  
  
-Kite and gang suddenly appear-  
  
Elk- Never fear! Elk is here!  
  
Kite- -sweatdrop-  
  
Tsukasa- WTF?! He looks just like me!  
  
Yukami- You like WTF don't you? You're naughty. Go take a time out!  
  
Tsukasa- No! Not that! Anything but that!!!  
  
Yukami- GO! -goes back to playing Go Fish-  
  
Elk- Muahahaha! Behold! The Aromatic Sugar!  
  
Kite- NO! NOT MORE AROMATIC DUNG!  
  
(Note. Yes, there would have been a naughty word where dung is, but as you can see, this is rated PG, so it was taken out ^ ^)  
  
Elk- -pokes Kite- You dare insult the Aromatic Sugar?  
  
Kite- Um. . .no?  
  
Elk- Good!  
  
Kite- -whispers to BlackRose- Not. . .  
  
Elk- -ears magically pick up the noise- DIE, KITE! YOU HAVE INSULTED THE AROMATIC SUGAR!!! -huggles the sugar and purrs o0- SO NOW YOU MUST PAY! -whistles and a herd of Puchigusos come running toward Kite-  
  
Yukami- WAIT A MINUTE! -everyone and everything freezes- THE PUCHIGUSOS ONLY LISTEN TO ME!!! MOOSE, YOU SHALL PAY!  
  
Elk- MY NAME IS ELK! NOT MOOSE! EEEELLLLKKKK!  
  
Puchigusos- -turn toward Elk with evil grins-  
  
Elk/Moose/Aromatic Freak- NOOOOO!  
  
Tomi- Looks like Yukami's back to normal.o0  
  
Yukami- -devilish smile- MUAHAHAHAHA! FEAR ME! . . .AND THE PUSHIGUSOS!!!  
  
Puchigusos- ^ ^ -purr-  
  
Oriya- Why is everyone purring all of the sudden? Should I purr, too? Moo ^ ^  
  
Lyo- -raises an eyebrow-  
  
Aiya- -oblivious to all as she has a tea party with BlackRose-  
  
BlackRose- -cheap English accent- Would you like more tea, Mr. Fuzzles?  
  
-Phone ring and Mr. Fuzzles the teddy bear answers it-  
  
Mr. Fuzzles- -real English accent- Fuzzles Tea, how may I help you?  
  
(Totally random right here)  
  
Goten- Mr. Fuzzles?! You're working for .hack now?! Noooo! Now I've gotta force Trunks to do a tea party with meh!!!  
  
(Actually, I like DBZ, Goten, too, but I just felt like making him look like an idiot today)  
  
Tunks- NOOOOO! MR. FUZZLES! COME BACK BEFORE GOTEN'S DIES MY HAIR PURPLE AGAIN!  
  
Trunks Fangirls- Well, that explains the purple hair.  
  
BlackRose- Purple hair is cool ^ ^  
  
Elk- -being pummeled by the Puchigusos-  
  
Yukami- -now wearing a black cape and make-up- MUAHAHAHA!!! -claps hands and they stop- -takes Elk's staff and whacks him over the head with it-  
  
Elk- Aromaticy. . .  
  
Yukami- o0U -lets go of Elk-  
  
Elk- FREE! -sniffs the air- I smell.AROMATIC GRASS!  
  
Kite- Oh, boy. . .  
  
Sora- ;_; Hello? Yukami? I though you were playing Go Fish with me. . .Hello? -sniff- Yukami? -cries-  
  
Elk- -hugging Aromatic Grass-  
  
Aromatic Grass- We love you, too ^ ^  
  
Elk- ^________________________^  
  
Tsukasa- -in time out- What about me, huh? -sniff- I'm still in time out!!! -is ignored-  
  
Sora- I think I need a hug. 


End file.
